Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
