Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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