So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
