i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
