Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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