I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
