I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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