Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
