What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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