the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
