I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
