She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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