awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize