is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
