i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
