I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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