just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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