at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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