i just had sex bonerless
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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