My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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