Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize