Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
