What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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