i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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