she smelled like a LAN party
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
