i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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