this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
