Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
