honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
