This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
