Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
