he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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