he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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