C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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