I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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