I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
