look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
