Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
