grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
