Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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