we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
