Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
