Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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