You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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