he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
