You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
