fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
