my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
