Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
