I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize