her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
