I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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