Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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