would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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