i dont even know how to be here
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
