Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
