I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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