maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
