well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize