It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
