no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
