Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
