i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
