dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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