I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
