no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
