It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize