it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
