Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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