Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
