I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
