Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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