The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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