Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
