Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize