I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
