didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize